2 April 2009

Smells Like White Spirit...

You see, they just feel the need to run their mouths off, don't they? Fools, that is. And their many subsets... The immature. Children. Teenagers. Racists.

You hear it all the time with teenagers. They'll be in the middle of a reasonably ordinary conversation about a third party (not present) when they simply splurt some complete and utter nonsense.

"Yeah, and, like, maybe he had, like, porridge in his eye!"

This is followed by that hideous snuffling, self-regarding giggle they feel they have to do.

Fnnnuffff, fnnnufff, fnnnufff. Fnnnuffff, fnnnufff, fnnnufff.

Bwarrrhhaarrhaarr. Bwarrrhaarrhaarr. Bwarrhaarrhaar.

This last bit, the very loud 'bwarharhars', is, by the way, entirely for the sake of ensuring that everyone - and I mean everyone - who might be within earshot (usually on the bus) understands that they have just said THE SINGLE FUNNIEST THING ANYBODY HAS EVER SAID.


It then stands to be repeated several times.

"Like, porridge. In his eye".

More bwarharhars. Until eventually the grim reality sets in; they realise that they are not at all amusing, and they shut the fuck up.

But really they're just waiting for the next chance to say THE SINGLE FUNNIEST THING etc....

There is allegedly an Australian politician who has made some ludicrous public statement about how he would treat terror suspects. He uses overtly racist language, and would - he claims, bravely - use a car battery for the purpose of torturing people.

Bwarharhars. Many. And sadly not all his own.

He's gone quiet now, through (presumably) the same kind of embarrassment that the teenager suffers, I would hope. The embarrassment which comes with that horrible realisation of one's own awful mundanity.

But he's only really waiting for his next chance to say the single stupidest thing anybody has ever said.

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