15 April 2009

Let mortals beware of words, for with words we lie...

"Tell me I'm a tourist in the fourth dimension".

What kind of a request is that? Silly man.

Although it would probably be nice if one were a tourist in it. Whatever it is...

If I learned my physics all rightly at school, the three dimensions are height, width and weight, , so the fourth must be distance.

Or time.

Space is a long distance away and takes time to reach... So a tourist in the fourth dimension must be someone travelling in space and /or time then! Michael Stipe thinks he's Doctor Who!!

God, I'm great at interpreting lyrics.

Here are some more examples of my skill with lyrical interpretation...

"She's buying a stairway to Heaven"? - She is procuring drugs and is going to use them herself to get high.

"The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind"? - I have procured drugs and am going to use them myself to get high. Outdoors.

"I feel stupid, and contagious"? - My wife is procuring drugs for me, I am going to use them to get high and it will all end badly.

"Somewhere a king has no wife, And the wind, it cries Mary"? - Kurt Cobain's wife has gone out procuring drugs and he is using cannabis to get high. Outdoors.

It's really very simple when you know how.

Some songs don't need that much work to sort out. Like instrumentals. Or ones with hardly any words.

I think it was Elton John's 'Song For Guy' which said simply, "Life... isn't everything. Isn't everything. Isn't Everything."

Which is easy to figure out.

That song was released in 1978 on the album, 'A Single Man', which means it was probably recorded in late 1977. Probably on a Thursday.

London Zoo's most famous resident, Guy the Gorilla, died in 1978.

Do you see? It's right there! Elton had some kind of premonition that the gorilla was going to die, and soothed its passing with some nice simple words of comfort that even a speechless primate could understand. It kind of makes you hope the gorilla heard the song, doesn't it?

But don't get me started on 'Clair' by Gilbert O'Sullivan. That's wrong. Plain wrong.

Stipe went on, "Hey, what's the big deal - I'm an animal". Perhaps not as much as some other people, eh Gilbert?

Anyway, that's enough for now. Hi-ho Silver... AWAY!!!!

I am vibrating at the speed of light.

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