29 March 2009

Persuade head.

On a coach the other day I saw a young man, maybe in his late twenties, who was startling to behold.

A classic late-70s skinhead look. Twelve or fifteen-hole Doc Martens; jeans in a classic, unbleached, bold blue with the bottoms tightly folded up to ankle height; a white Fred Perry shirt under a spectacular Harrington jacket with the authentic tartan lining; sideburns, and - best of all - the required red braces, worn down, hanging around his arse. Genius.

He did seem to have slightly mixed his genres, as he was carrying a small satchel hung by a shoulder strap upon which he, or persons unknown had written the words, "NO FUN - NO FUTURE".

No fun. No future.

He had a leaflet for IKEA in his jeans back pocket.

18 March 2009

The question is, 'do you have a thing about bats, Mr Wayne?'

God Almighty. The elder steppy has just come back from seeing 'Watchmen' at the cinema.

"What did you make of it?" asked I.

"Fnrrrfff shnerf shnuffy nerfff", she said.

She mumbles. Usually with her hand over her mouth; so lip-reading is ruled out too. It's a result, not of shyness, but of massive laziness. She just can't be arsed to speak properly, as it would take too much energy to move her face that much.

Anyway, apparently, if you ask three times the magic spell works and translates "Fnrrrfff shnerf shnuffy nerfff" as "It was all right, like, I suppose".

"Only 'all right'"? I wonder.

"Well, yeah, like, I din't get why that bloke's mask kept, like, moving and that".

"What do you think Rorschach's mask is?" I ventured, almost afraid to ask.

"Well, it's like, just a piece of, like, old cloth, innit?"

"Why would it have those shapes though?" Oh, I am so much the pedagogue now...

"Well, it's, like, ink and that."

"But why?"


I explain, and wonder aloud how an eighteen year old can never have heard of a Rorschach Test.

"I suppose I, like, have and that, but it's like, you know, one of them words I have, like, heard, but not known what it was".

"And were you never once moved to find out what it meant on those occasions when you have heard it?"

"Cun't be, like, bothered, and that."

I think someone once used the term 'fuckwit'.

7 March 2009

Not the steps we take; those we send...

I am listening to Laura Veirs. The truth is that Laura isn't all that good. There are several rather better at what she does than Laura, sadly (for her).

And I am planning how best to spend a week away from home, with what will likely be unlikely people in a place where there is nothing else to do.

Laura Veirs is not the answer, although the new Howling Bells album might be.

I have just tried in the briefest possible manner (attention spans of 18 year olds being what they are) to explain to my steppy that going off to University on the basis of moving in with her father is a big mistake. Not because of him, although I think there is an issue there - what with him being a complete dickhead and all - but because the WHOLE POINT is not living wth parents, surely??

So that'll guarantee he gets her as a lodger then...