11 December 2012

"A man without a smiley face should not open a shop."

I have seen it claimed that there is a Chinese proverb which says, "a man without a smiley face should not open a shop."  I don't know if that's truly a Chinese proverb, or one of those internet things people repeat so easily, but in any event it strikes a chord.

We mostly know that Customer Service can often be all about first impressions. And that sometimes it's about being pleasant and human. And that actually, most often, it's about those two things working together in some kind of apparently quite hard to achieve, seamless, harmony.

We've all encountered people who should do Customer Service well; and don't.

This post has nothing much to add by way of wisdom. I just wanted to show you a small collection of signs I "found" recently on my way up a steep hill to a national literary landmark (I just about sneaked that in...) All in one shop window. Well, two windows really, but the same shop and two windows of no particular size.

The first is a little brusque, but no more than that - in isolation. There may be better ways of putting it, but on its own, it's not terrible...

But just in case you thought it might be a problem with the door... Here's another. It effectively says - get stuffed if you have children. Which puts the first into a bit of a new light.

And in case you missed the point, here it is jabbed hard into your pathetic, touristy, parenting face. We'd rather have dogs in the shop than you and your crappy children. Get it?

So maybe it's that they don't want money from parents particularly. Perhaps they just think dogs spend more? Oh, no. They ain't done yet...

...They really don't like anyone much. Coming in here with your stupid customer conversation. Don't bother coming in if you want to, you know, talk.. There is a wee bit more of that in the second photo. I'll wait here while you go back and look...

Cool eh?

And just in case you're still in any doubt about our general attitude to you, your vile child/ren, your stupid chitchat and life in general, here's a cheery seasonal message. Stick your Xmas where the sun don't shine.

Unless you're a dog perhaps. Happy bloody Dogmas, Shep old bean. Happy bloody Dogmas. Best friend indeed.

I took the photos when the shop was closed, and I was walking up a hill past it. Three hours later I was walking down the hill, and it was open . Amazingly, with the exception of the owner, nobody was in the shop. Amazingly.

And then I chose not to go in. Odd, eh?

1 comment:

Janet E Davis said...

That is absolutely extraordinary! Why would such a misanthrope bother to have a shop?! How do they manage to make enough money to be there still. Even though I don't have children, those notices would be enough to make me think I wouldn't want to go in.
Thanks for sharing the grumpiest shop windows in the UK with us!