21 March 2010


Those little sherbert saucer things have been flying about outside the house again today. I wouldn't have noticed except that for a while the sun was out and they were casting little shadows all over the front room; like a disco ball in negative.

It seems odd that they don't make any noise. So not only are they quiet, but they also must be environmentally sound.

So why don't we run cars on sherbert?

Anyway, I thought I caught sight of one of the Herberts that pilot them as I started from a snooze on the sofa to the silent cacophony of their centrifugal spin...

19 March 2010

Board senseless

There's a very small, humanoid, burrowing creature (which sings tunelessly during the day and can be heard gently snoring sometimes during the night) living in a series of tunnels - of its own making and design - in the concrete that acts as the floor of our house. It makes its way slowly about using a tiny, battery-powered torch it has attached to its head with a piece of elastic that I suspect was stolen from a pair of boxer shorts I used to own (which I bought in Next) and it tunnels with a pickaxe - about half an inch long (that I suppose it bought at Focus).

This whole scenario often causes me serious concern. It seems to me to be entirely illogical. Even, dare one say, utterly unlikely.

Why haven't we got floorboards?

4 March 2010

The Don Qui-Jacquette

It's on, I tell you. It's on...


Oh, and RIP, Brother of the lesser-known Dingle.