24 July 2010

Vespax Vobiscum

It's not all men that are wankers. It's mainly just the ones with driving licences.

It's very simple. What my transportation lacks in ability to hold enough fuel to go long distances; what it lacks by way of sound system; what it lacks by way of windows... it makes up for in flexibility and acceleration.

It's a fucking Vespa. That's what they do.

It will get through smaller gaps than your car.
It will get away from lights more quickly than your car.

It is not a threat to your manliness, you knob-end, and it does NOT mean you need to fucking carve me up, and scream past me at fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit to get in front of me, because your "manly" pride is somehow offended.

You're a dick.

Every night I finish the journey home along a road where the presence of two schools means the speed limit (and you need to look up the meaning of L.I.M.I.T., knob cheese) has been reduced to 20 miles per hour. On this road, but by no means only here, every night some total plonker screams past me at over 35 just because they can't bear to sit behind a scooter doing 20.

Men with small penises, each and every one of them.

The other night I arrived to find a small girl, maybe 8 or 9 had been run over, and was screaming her poor bloody head off. She'll live, thankfully.


Rant ends.
Near death experiences probably won't.

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