You brought me to my niece

The younger steppy, the recently girlfriended Steppy II, has just returned from a 'PGL' holiday.

That's Parents Get Lost for those of our readers who are unaware.

And actually the getting lost part is reasonable easy, as the whole thing is based in the middle of some vast rural wasteland, miles from the nearest hint of a city (or civilisation as we must learn to call it).

His cousin, my niece, also went. It's the second time she's been. She is now eight.

On being picked up at the end of the week by Mrs Graph, the two climbed into the car.

The niece looked at her mother (Mrs Graph's sister) and - bearing in mind they hadn't seen each other for a full eight days - uttered the immortal words, "I was sick. But I swallowed it again."